I've had more bad luck with blind dates that friends have set me up with than anyone I know. My first blind date was a real winner. She seemed like a nice, shy girl at first. Once she got a bit more comfortable around me she would just not stop talking. At some point during her one way discourse, she started to talk about her kidney problems. Apparently she had recurring kidney stone issues. I sat there with a look of disbelief on my face which she misinterpreted as interest. Unintentionally I muttered out loud, “I don't believe this”. So she said, “You think I am making this up? Well check this out then!”. She rummaged through her bag and extracted a small pill bottle. She unceremoniously opened it and spilled the contents onto the table. I was stunned by what I saw Three small pebbles which I took to be her kidney stones. She felt compelled to carry them around with her! I have heard of weird keepsakes, but this was just too much for me.
After dinner, she went to the ladies room while I waited at the table. I began to get worried after about 25 minutes and asked the waitress if she would check on her. The waitress went in and was out again in seconds shouting for someone to call the paramedics. I dashed in to see if I could assist in some way and was greeted with her passed out form in a pool of vomit. Seems she was a binge and purge artist and is now being treated for bulimia nervosa. I had not really noticed a problem. She had seemed a bit wan and skinny, but I just thought that maybe she had been sick lately. Guess you really don't know what you have till the wrapping comes off.
I did let my friends suck me into a few more blind dates, but fortunately, none of them gave me the same severe negative reaction as the first one. There was miss Metallica who wore tons of piercings, miss bubbly who saw the world through rose colored glasses, the body canvas girl who thought that her skin was a canvas for a series of tattoo artists to adorn, and the bride of Frankenstein who was all decked out in black with white and black makeup. But I just classified these as my personal turn offs because I have seen all of them since with other guys.
My very last blind date was really a humdinger. A now ex-friend of mine gave her my email address and told me that she was really hot. So we chatted through email, and she seemed intelligent and fun. When we finally talked on the phone, she had an incredibly sultry voice. She gave me every reason to believe that she had the hots for me as much as I did her. We chose to meet at a Red Lobster because it was half way for both of us and she had a preference for sea food. I arrived in advance to make sure I was not late. I was so eager to see her that I did not want to screw anything up. I saw an old Toyota Tercel pull into the parking lot with the front driver side riding low. I remember thinking that the front spring in the car must be broken. It parked and the door opened, and out stepped (well stepped is a bad word for the series of motions it took her to extract herself from the vehicle) my date. OUCH!
My hot sexy date was huge! Like a blob of blubber! She had totally set me up! She said she was considered voluptuous. When most men hear that, they think of a curvy woman carrying a 20 or 30 extra pounds. I don't think I've ever seen a slender hippo, and that is about the best example from the animal world that she most resembled.
I may be sounding like 'Shallow Hal' in that movie of the same name, but I like to think I am a gentleman. So I composed myself and decided to stick out my commitment to have supper together. To that end, I met her with a smile on my face. The waiter brought her to my table and we ordered our drinks and food. Our food arrived, but she was having difficulty reaching her plate because her beer vat stomach was in the way. I was stunned to watch her calmly pick up the end of the table, pull it towards her, and plunk the edge of it on her abdomen. I forgot my hunger and just stared at her as she proceeded to wolf down her dinner. She said she was still a bit hungry and asked me if I minded if she took a few small items off my plate. When I agreed, she literally grabbed my plate and dumped the contents into hers. She devoured my food just as fast as she had eaten hers Desert turned into a bit of a side show as I watched in amazement as she ordered and devoured no less than three separate deserts. I paid the bill said good bye and got the hell out of there. I stopped by a McDonald’s on the way home for a burger and onion rings because I was still hungry and it was all I could afford. I just ordered. After this evening's spectacle, I could not face super-sizing it like I usually do. She e-mailed me telling me she had a great time and wanted to know when we were getting together again. I said, “Never! My job had moved and I will be leaving the country shortly”.
I have learned my lesson. No more stupid blind dates for me.
From now on I'm sticking to online dating sites that I know I can trust. Needless to say, my BS radar is much improved so I have almost never been disappointed, and never as much as any of my 'blind dates' of the past.
Here is where I found the best online dating sites to join:
top dating sites
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